Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says,
"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content
With being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and reservedly to Me,
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship
With Me alone.
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united
With Me alone,
Exclusive of anyone or anything else,
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning,
Stop wishing,
And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing,
One that you cannot imagine.
Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I Am.
Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait.
That's all.
Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look at the things you think you want;
You just keep looking off and away up to Me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then when you are ready,
I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any
You could dream of.
You see, until you are ready and until
The one I have for you is ready
(I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time),
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me
And the life I prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience the love that
Exemplified your relationship with Me.
And this is the perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your
Relationship with Me,
And to enjoy materially and concretely
The everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love
That I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love utterly.
I Am God.
Believe it and be satisfied.
~ St. Anthony of Padua
Beautiful, right? I really just thought it was this really sweet poem that was until I got to lines 17 and 18 of the poem...
I want you to stop planning,
Stop wishing,
right there is where God proceeded to punch me in the face. Ok let's back up for a second...if you know me at all you know that all I do is plan...dinner plans, weekend plans, vacation plans, but the biggest of all?...Wedding plans! It is an embarrassing habit that I cannot break. Am I engaged? No... Do I want to be? more then anything... I have been trying my hardest to put it to the back of my mind and just forget about it, but all of the sudden i have two friends getting married, and I am rather involved in each wedding so when I see them planning I naturally begin to plan mine in the back of my head.
It was like God shook me and said BRIANNA, STOP IT! CHILL OUT! SIT STILL AND LISTEN!so needless to say...that got my attention so I decide to actually READ the poem now and really pay attention since God apparently had me read this for a reason. The first paragraph....nothing we haven't heard before...you have to have a close relationship with God before you can have a relationship like that with someone else...whether or not we actually apply that to our lives is questionable.
The whole second paragraph was God saying...Brianna, sit back, shut up with what you think you want, and Iv'e got this under control. So the one thing that I have always had planned out perfectly, my future, God is now saying chill out I've got this one. and in my mind of a sinner I'm screaming...BUT WHAT IF YOU ARE WRONG!!!! so by this part of the poem I'm freaking out because 1. I have to grow in my relationship with God before I can grow in my relationship with Shawn. 2.My whole future is out of my control, control freak Brianna will no longer have power over her domain.
But here is the cool part...
The third paragraph brings it all together...go back and read the 3rd paragraph again. Assuming that you read it again... isn't that amazing? He WANTS me to have that. He WANTS me to experience that reflection of His love in human form!! So God...you are saying that all I have to do is 1. Grow closer to you and 2. Let you plan my life and in return you are going to get both my husband and me prepared to share the most amazing love that you have planned for us?...yeah I think I can live with that.
Extra Point that I gained from reading this...God's time is perfect. I annoy Shawn a lot with getting married, and when it's going to happen, and if it's going to happen soon. And I have always been annoyed that it isn't going to happen anytime soon, and secretly I have always blamed Shawn and thought that it was because of him that nothing was happening...but then I realized that's not what God wants. It seems like a curse to have to date someone for what will probably be 6 or 7 years before you marry them, but for some reason...that's exactly how God wanted it. He knew we would meet early in life and date for an unseen amount of time, and though I may not know the reason I am positive that it was perfectly designed with what is best for us in mind. I already know that he is the one that God has set apart as special just for me, and now it's just a matter of God's timing and as of right now I don't care if it's two more years or ten. I'm satisfied in the fact of knowing that His timing is perfect and will always work out for the best.
